Dec 17, 2009

Black Letters Against White Space

Some say they are a certain profession by trade - I say, "I'm a writer by passion".

Black on White
I speak of my passion for writing, the process of writing more often than I practice the craft and actually write. I spend a considerable amount of time browsing bookstores or online looking for books on the craft of writing. My library of reference material is extensive.

Mission Statement
The church I attend asked everyone to think of & submit their mission statement.
Here is mine: "To write (about) God's word to reach those I'll never meet & live those same words."

Stream of Words
Words don't flow from me as often as I wish they would.
When words actually do flow, I often question how adequate they are.

Creating Written Art
Many who have read my writing have said, "You have a gift" and often ask me how writing is going, asking when my book will be done - all and all, challenging me to never stop exercising my gift. I need these people. I need more of these people. I need to recognize and accept this is a gift if what these people are telling me about my gift is true. The lack of flow and the time between words on paper often inserts doubt.

I Want to...
I want to release my inner fears about my words and experience and just let go. To not edit as I write, to let my instincts guide my writing - write with my heart first.
Sean Connery's character William Forrester in the 2000 film, "Finding Forrester" says, "...no thinking - that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is... to write, not to think!"
I want the reader to be able to relate to my character(s) and know they aren't alone in their thoughts, fears, and desires - to read about a character who learns they have cancer, diabetes, or a terminal illness with just months to live. Sometimes, my words may even pierce a reader in such a way that they recognize an aspect of their life they had never before seen the way I present it. A reader could even read between (my) lines and gain something out of it that I never intended.
"...the author who benefits you most is not the one who tells you something you did not know before, but the one who gives expression to the truth that has been dumbly struggling in you for utterance."
~ Oswald Chambers

I want the words I write to move people in such a way that they set down the book for a moment and think about their life - to be impacted. I want to have that impact. I want readers to be captivated by my choice of words - to see my black letters against white space of the book they are holding. I want to envision the reader reading my book as the reader envisions my story.

Just like a good friend, a reader joins me in a story through all the characters joys and pains.

Weighted Words
Sometimes I think I'd like to be scared by something I write. As in, thoughts inside my head I didn't know that were there that can't escape; or haven't escaped - yet. The goal being to learn something about myself. To be honest with myself. To break free of anything I may be holding back. To see my thoughts, written down - giving myself a chance to come back days, weeks, months, and years later to remember and reflect.

These lyrics in the song "Awakening" by Sara Groves have always resonated with me:
Speak to my pain and confusion.
Speak through my fears and my pride.
Speak to the part of me that knows I'm something deep down inside.

Sharing With the World
I think about how I want to share my words with the world, my internal living words that I want to express in black & white - only then, I begin contacting the unmerciful publishing industry. Getting published by attempting to be one writer among millions hoping to be unique enough to stand out in an oversaturated market full of writers from all walks of life.

In the end, just a like a black & white picture, the words should present a beautiful story just as a picture presents a thousand words.

I ponder
What will I, the writer learn penning my words?
What will they, the reader learn reading my words?
What will we do about what we learn, anything?

Is it possible to love something so much that is fuels you to constantly think about it and work toward it, even if you hit every block in the road? Not writer's 'block,' but rejection and the desire to be heard when no one will give you an opportunity? How does one keep going?

Would stopping be a waste of my gift/talent? Would the world remain the same?

Publication or not, I will continue on, through Word documents on my computer, this blog, & emails to family and friends and anyone else willing to read my words.

Why
My mind and heart direct me to thoughts of the written word, maybe just for myself, maybe just for those who know me, maybe for the world. Some day I'll understand my purpose and recognize why much of my time has been devoted to the craft of writing. I hope that understanding surfaces soon.

I discover, when writing, rewriting, and rereading my words that I am simply a writer trying to find inspiration, maintain motivation, & seek validation...

My words are my legacy.

Writers Bookstore:
Get Between the Covers: Leave a Legacy by Writing a Book by Neil Shulman

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